The Vocal Amplification
by zipporah grace
Summary: A short little one-shot. A drunken party leads to unexpected events for Sheldon and Amy. Read and review!


**Hey you guys! This is a little one-shot away from my ongoing story "The Emotion Approximation". Plot bunnies are evil little things I must say, for this one ambushed me in the middle of the night. This story is in no way related to my other story, so let' pretend none of that stuff from there has happened. Enjoy!**

**P.S. I own nothing!**

**-ZG**

**#**

Sheldon felt horrible. He should've never fallen under the ruse that his Cuba Libres tasted funny because of a new Coca-Cola recipe. It was only after having five of them he thought the taste may have been attributed to alcohol. By then, however, he was rolling. Nothing could stop him, even his logic.

The party had been a wild one. It should've been. Penny had landed a successful acting job, of all things. She was quitting the Cheesecake Factory and called over all her friends to celebrate.

Sheldon remembered practically swallowing his drinks whole, getting into a furious Dance-Dance Revolution battle with Wolowitz, and singing "Thriller" on the karaoke machine. Then all of a sudden he was sitting next to Amy and things went hazy.

He sat up, groaning at the sensation of figurative drums pounding in his ears. His head hurt, and there was an uneasy queasiness growing in his stomach.

That was Sheldon realized he was shirtless.

_Perhaps someone spilled their drink on me_, he reasoned. _After all, a person can become very clumsy under the influence of alcohol._

Then he raised his sheets a little bit and realized he was devoid of any pants. And any underwear.

_That is certainly very strange_, he thought.

He checked his surroundings. His bedroom was mostly in order, save his clothes that were out of his closet but arranged neatly on the floor. The door was closed, there was no vomit to be seen, and Amy Farrah Fowler was beginning to stir beside him.

_Amy Farrah Fowler?_

He looked down. Sharing one half of his bed was his girlfriend, her hair messy and her eyes not covered with glasses. She turned to her side and opened her eyes. Smiling, she sat up and revealed that her pale, not-as-hunched shoulders were bare.

"Hey Cuddles," she said casually with a hint of a giggle.

Through this five-second event, Sheldon's heart rate began to increase, he started to hyperventilate, and became wide-eyed. There was only one vocal sound he thought to be appropriate for this situation.

"AHHHHHH!" he screamed, flailing his limbs and falling off of the bed. He reached for sheets to cover his private area and sat on the floor, speechless. For that moment, at least.

"What have you done?" he asked. "I am a man of science, not a horn-dog! Oh, my mother will drown me in holy water, and not to mention the ridicule from my colleagues will surely be cruel…"

Amy scooted over to the edge of the bed, making sure to cover herself. He obviously wasn't ready to relive last night all over again. "Sheldon, be quiet," she hushed. "Who knows who's outside your bedroom door."

That shut him up.

"Would you like me to explain last night's events?"

He nodded slowly.

"Come on up here," he ordered, and held out her hand. He recoiled at her gesture. "Sheldon, we just engaged in coitus. Hand-holding isn't that big anymore."

He found that argument reasonable and took her hand. She pulled him up, and timidly got back under the covers.

"We were both very drunk, you steadily more than me," Amy explained. "After your rendition of Michael Jackson's most memorable hit ended, you sat next to me on the couch and told me you wanted to take the relationship a step further. I would've pointed out your drunken state had I not been as intoxicated myself, and instead I accepted your proposal. Then you proceeded to drag me out of Penny's apartment, enter yours, and strip. Now, I was resistant at first, but the alcohol got the best of me and we entered your bedroom. You can easily deduct what happened after that."

Sheldon sat back against the headboard, trying to recall last night past sitting down with Amy. Slowly, the hazy parts became crystal clear, and he remembered all of their activities. He twisted his face into a grimace with the memory of how much touching went on in the process.

"I know it might take some getting used to," Amy told him. "However, I think we can move on from this."

Sheldon breathed heavily for a little bit, but finally came up with something to say. "Would you mind if, out of curiosity and curiosity only, I may ask you a couple questions?"

"Of course," she complied. "Whatever may take to make you feel comfortable."

"First of all…we used protection, am I correct?" he asked. Coitus was enough to handle already. A squirming, pooping, germ-infested child was not something to look forward to at the moment.

"Of course," Amy said. "You grabbed a condom from Leonard's room."

"Good, good," he said, sighing. At least that was one less thing to worry about. "Secondly, does anyone know?"

"I may have been a little loud…" she admitted, receiving a death glare from Sheldon. "What? That means your performance was well-received."

"Well of course it was well-received," he said in his usual pompous attitude. "I excel at everything."

"You sure do…" she said under her breath as for him not to hear, but it was futile. She got another death glare from him, but this time he looked a little happier than the last. "But nobody was in the apartment at the time and the music was fairly loud."

"That is a relief," he told her. "If anyone found out I'd be mortified."

"Why?"

"I have been known to be a man completely capable of living his life without giving into his urges, and I've proclaimed it proudly to our circle of friends. If they found out they would call me a hypocrite."

"But you are."

"That is your opinion," he countered. "And it will surely be theirs too." He suddenly realized how unclothed he was. He grabbed his box of latex gloves to cover his "special area" and scurried over to his pile of clothes, putting them on. "Third question: should this be installed into the Relationship Agreement?"

"I would assume so," she said, getting up and starting to put on her own clothes. She wasn't as modest as he was, receiving a tomato-colored stare on his face. "After all, we both seemed to enjoy it…you especially."

"Me? I do not remember stating outright I enjoyed participating in intercourse." Okay, that may have been a lie. He did remember finding an urge to yell at some point or another.

"Please," she said. She put her hands on her hips, now in her blouse and panties. "I recall you saying, and I quote-" She cleared her throat and did a mock version of his voice childishly. "-'Oh, yes please' and 'That is quite fascinating' and 'Don't stop' and a rather enthusiastic 'Dear Lord!'"

Sheldon blushed again, standing upright in pants but a not a shirt. "I would like you stop mocking me, please." He sighed. "But you are right. I shall draw up a document indicating frequency, times, and location for the coitus."

"Good, but leave room for my input. When it comes to these things especially a woman must have her side represented also."

"Shrewd," he commented, proceeding to put on his first shirt. "But true." He picked up his t-shirt, sporting the Flash symbol and exhaled. "And the last question…"

Amy slipped on her tights and skirt. "Yes?"

He looked at her. "Where on earth did you learn to do that one thing with your thumb?"

Amy shrugged and put on her glasses. "Intuition and maybe a romance novel hidden underneath my bed."

He put on his shoes and she did the same.

"Now, I am going to walk out there first to see if anybody is out there and I will text you the signal to leave this room." He approached the door and looked at her. "And don't you dare touch my comic books."

He took a deep breath and opened the door. He went out into the living room and saw that no one was in sight, so he texted Amy and she proceeded out.

"I believe it is social convention that after the coitus I make breakfast for you," he said.

"You are correct," she told him.

"Seeing as it is Toast Day I shall get out my Darth Vader toaster," he said, and then proceeded to the kitchen. "Ah!"

Amy rushed towards him. "What is it?"

It was then that Leonard and Penny stood up from behind the island, yawning.

"What are you doing, sleeping in the kitchen?" Sheldon asked them.

"Tequila makes you sleep in strange places," Penny explained, yawning. She looked over to the living room. "Oh, hi Amy."

"Hi, bestie," Amy said sheepishly.

Leonard and Penny proceeded to sit down in their respective seats, watching expectantly at the couple before them.

"Well?" Leonard asked. "Aren't you going to make Amy breakfast?"

"Why are you expecting me to make Amy breakfast?" Sheldon asked worriedly.

"Because that's usually what you do the morning after sex," he explained, smiling a toothy grin. "You dog, you."

They both started cracking up, Penny and Leonard. Sheldon and Amy just looked shocked.

"How did you know?" Amy asked.

"Please," Penny said. "Even through the music, we could hear you guys. Especially Amy. Sheldon, you must be good because never in all my life have I ever heard a woman yell that loud."

Sheldon glared at Amy.

"Well I'm sorry that your sexual prowess seems to take control of my vocal chords," she apologized sardonically, and turned back to Penny and Leonard.

"We should leave you two lovebirds alone," Leonard said, getting up. "Just…don't have sex in the kitchen, okay? It's not as comfortable as it sounds."

Penny laughed and nodded. "Yeah." She got up and hugged a still very shocked Amy. "Text me the deets later."

Amy nodded, looking almost catatonic. "Yeah, yeah. Okay."

Leonard and Penny exited the apartment. Amy turned to look at Sheldon.

"So it looks like people do know," she said.

"Yes," he agreed. It was silent for a minute, and they were both looking down.

"So what shall we do?" Amy asked.

"About our circle of friends knowing we engaged in coitus?" Sheldon said. "I can't think of anything right now. But for breakfast? I like my toast with butter, how about you?" He pulled out his novelty toaster.

"Jam, please," she answered, and sat down on the stool.

**#**

**My first one-shot! Yay! I just got the idea of out-of-the-blue Shamy sex and how the morning after would proceed with our current Sheldon. Not my story's Sheldon. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this little plot-bunny. **

**-ZG**


End file.
